Thursday, September 17, 2009

AMERICA'S GOT TALENT -- But No Class...


Last night America voted Kevin Skinner the $1 Million Grand Prize. This is just another example of the "dumbing down" of the good, old USA. It's bad enough when tens of millions think a Wal-Mart store is a mecca exceeding the Taj Mahal in grandeur. But to vote this phony chicken catcher the top prize over the truly fabulous classical singer Barbara Padilla, much less at least a half-dozen other far more deserving, genuinely talented acts, is about as ridiculous as things can get. What nationwide vote could be more egregious?


Well, maybe electing Sarah Palin to a position just a heartbeat away from the Presidency would qualify. (Who in their right mind could honestly believe she was experienced enough or intelligent enough for the job?) Yet, millions voted for her, just as, apparently, millions voted for her cousin Kevin. The only thing that rivals these two horrendous mistakes in judgement was my personal decision to attend the University of Texas at Austin to pursue a Master's Degree in Film Production. What a waste of time and money. Then again, that was a long, long time ago...

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

THE JAY LENO SHOW


The question used to be Leno or Letterman? Letterman or Leno? For the staff at Needtovent, we initially preferred Letterman -- his acerbic monologues often hit below the belt, pushed the envelope, and, on many occasions, cut deeply. Then came the heart attack and a new Letterman emerged, one that was tame, lazy, boring. Leno, on the other hand, stepped up his game delivering a full ten minutes of new material each night that, surprisingly, grew a bit edgier, but, more importantly, was genuinely and consistently funny.

Then came the "retirement" only to have a reemergence just a few months later. There's no denying that THE JAY LENO SHOW will be breaking new ground, becoming the first-ever prime time program to air every night of the week. The question, now, is whether or not this Favrian return will also be a success.

Based on last night's premier edition the jury is still out.

Perhaps the key is determining who constitutes the primary audience for THE JAY LENO SHOW. Needtovent is an openly gray institution, and so we naturally figured it would be the AARP crowd who previously wanted to watch Jay in the 11:30 p.m. (Eastern) time slot but couldn't stay awake long enough to even get through the opening monologue. At least that's who we thought NBC would appeal to -- an admittedly niche demographic, one that might be construed as possessing less purchasing power than the more desired 18-49 crowd, but yet sizeable enough in today's fractured television marketplace to be financially viable. After all, an entire week's worth of Jay's one-hour programs will likely cost less than a single hour of prime time drama such as previous NBC hits like ER, LAW & ORDER and L.A. LAW. Of course, those were all a long, long time ago.


Having Jerry Seinfeld as the first guest was an excellent choice. But what in the name of Chester A. Riley was NBC thinking when the other guests booked were rappers Jay-Z, Rihanna and Kanye West? What a revoltin' development this is... Talk about a bird-brained decision by the Peacock Network. For the vast majority of senior citizens, this musical choice was more like Metamucil -- and that's a pretty tough pill for senior citizens to swallow around bedtime.

In the final analysis, the most important question is whether THE JAY LENO SHOW was entertaining. Leno publicly promised "three times the comedy" of his former TONIGHT SHOW. We'll give the monologue a B+, the Seinfield segment (including the Oprah video) a B-, the two videotaped inserts a C, the mock Obama interview a C-, the pathetic Kanye West interviw an F, the aforementioned Metamucil musical number an F and the closing Headlines (after over three months to cull the very best) a disappointing B. Looks like Jay's math skills elicit a failing grade.


Final analysis -- we find THE JAY LENO SHOW to be in trouble, especially if the guest selections don't become more consistently appropriate and the video segments remain lame at best. Not to worry, Jay can always drive off into the sunset in one of the exotic cars in his collection -- this fabulous Hispano-Suiza 8 being just one possibility.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

RAWLINGS S100 BASEBALL HELMET


On August 15th New York Met 3rd baseman David Wright suffered a concussion when he was struck in the head by a 95mph fastball thrown by Giants pitcher Matt Cain. Upon his return a few weeks later, he became the first major league player to don the new ultraprotective Rawlings S100 helmet. Needtovent thinks this is a prudent move, the rather goofy look notwithstanding. We predict that more and more players will opt for safety over fashion, although there is one previous ex-Met who we believe would be an exception.


With a career spanning the better part of a decade (1980-1989), Mookie Wilson was, and remains, a Met favorite. However, the attached artist's depiction of Mookie wearing the new head gear gives us serious doubts he would consider making the switch.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

STEPHEN KING'S TOP 20


Recently "The King of Horror" -- Stephen King -- wrote an article stating, "Most summer movies are hell on earth. Fortunately, heaven is only a rental away." We at Needtovent couldn't agree more.

Here's Mr. King's list of entertaining films to rent during the summer:

20. WHITE HEAT
19. MR. PEABODY AND THE MERMAID
18. POINT BLANK
17. TITANIC
16. SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER
15. CURSE OF THE DEMON (1958)
14. Stephen Spielberg's 1941
13. CUJO
12. THE CAINE MUTINY
11. THE THING (He prefers John Carpenter's 1982 remake)
10. DR. STRANGELOVE
9. BRING ME THE HEAD OF ALFREDO GARCIA
8. KISS OF DEATH
7. DIE HARD
6. THE BLUES BROTHERS
5. THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT
4. THE WILD BUNCH
3. SLING BLADE
2. WAGES OF FEAR
1. SORCERER (William Friedkin's remake of WAGES OF FEAR)

Other than a few exceptions, we think this is a marvelous selection of divergent and wonderful films, especially his inclusion in first and second place two often-overlooked classics -- SORCERER and WAGES OF FEAR. Kudos to King for recognizing their ability to generate incredible suspense -- if you have never experienced a Sphincter Pucker Factor of 9.9, then you definitely must see one or, preferably, both.


Personally, we would not have included 1941, CUJO or DIE HARD, although they are admittedly fine films which do entertain. (We defer on MR. PEABODY AND THE MERMAID since we haven't seen this one.) And, of course, we would not have chosen THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT -- a remarkable cultural phenomena, but as a motion picture we find it terribly lacking.

Replacing the aforementioned four titles we suggest -- THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE UGLY, BUBBA HO-TEP, DETOUR (1945) and ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST. Then again, yesterday we might very well have listed I WALKED WITH A ZOMBIE, A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT, THE WORLD'S FASTEST INDIAN and KING OF HEARTS.

That's the fun thing about Top 20 Lists (or any ranking of favorite movies -- there are so many great ones we find it impossible to be absolute).

Send us your list -- Needtovent would love to see what you think.