TAQUERIA PATY

Review by Jerry L. Nelson

A food revolution is sweeping the nation….in the form of a new version of meals on wheels. Now don’t confuse this with the charitable version, good thing that is. This is one being fostered by the food industry in the broadcasting world and a lot of chefs who apparently can’t get a gig in a regular restaurant….so they go out and create a restaurant on wheels….lots of “done over” Airstream trailers outfitted with restaurant quality kitchens instead of the sleeping and living areas and then gathered into one locale and serving up to the, often giddy, public, a variety of ethnic choices….My, what a wonderfully new idea….to this, I can only say balderdash.

Trust me on this, folks. We’ve had this idea around for years here in south central Texas….and I do mean years. The taco wagon has been a roadside fixture for longer than I care to think about at my age. I challenge you to travel the outlying roadways and non-major highways around any town or city of size and NOT see some enterprising soul trying to make a buck on the side of the road selling all manner of TEX-MEX delights from some form of kitchen on wheels. New idea?....crap salad…..but I digress.


Having grown up in the shadow of San Antonio and, even as a teenager, made the required pilgrimage to the border and sampled street food at three in the morning when all you could think about was solid food in your belly regardless of the absence of neighborhood dogs, nothing compares in taste, quality and plain ol’ goodness to finding your own personal roadside taqueria. Now you don’t have to agree with me on this, for I do want you to seek one out and make it your favorite, but I have serendipitously stumbled across one I feel is unmatched in the area of Canyon Lake….and there are several to choose from….Tacqueria Paty….with one “T”. Her real name is Patricia, but I asked one of her erstwhile assistants one day why the one “t” and was told Paty just liked the look of it….so….Taqueria Paty, just south of F.M. 306 on U. S. 281 in the parking lot of the Spring Branch Bowling Club, open Monday through Saturday from 6:30 a.m. till 1:30 p.m. Breakfast fare is the big rush, but at any time during those hours you will see a parking lot variety of pick ups filled with construction workers to Mercedes filled with tourists needing sustenance before a day of tubing.

No matter what your want, she and her head cook, Lupe, will crank out some of the greasiest, drippiest, tastiest tacos you could ever wrap your mouth around. The menu isn’t just limited to the ubiquitous breakfast taco either. You can find a selection that will rival any seated service restaurant, from crispy tacos to mini-tacos to tortas to combination offerings. Paty offers eight different kinds of meat tacos with picadillo being my personal favorite along with carne guisada (there’s a big difference between Guisada and Asada….I learned the hard way), plus Chicharron’s, Migas, Papas Rancheras, Machacado and more. Saturdays see Barbacoa by the pound and for Pete’s sake, when you’ve had too much cerveza the night before, Paty and Lupe offer up some of the best Menudo around. Oh, you can be a weenie and get the Gringo version of Tex Mex by ordering a bean and cheese or potato and egg taco, but until you have had her chorizo and egg with salsa verde, you haven’t lived. Some of her extras include guacamole and pico de gallo with more cilantro in it than I’ve ever seen served on one taco. Next time you find yourself tooling down 281 just south of F. M. 306 and you have a “hankerin” for the original “meals on wheels,” pull on over into the Spring Branch Bowling Club parking lot and check out Taqueria Paty. As she says….if you want an order to go, have a compliment or even a complaint, give her a call at 830-885-2034. Try her offerings and you won’t really care what they’re doing in the big city with their fancy Airstreams….Paty’s been doing it for years, simply and fantastically.

Taqueria Paty
281 North
1.6 miles south of F. M. 306

BELLA NAPOLI

Review by Jerry L. Nelson


Just like a poltergeist, I’m baaaack! Where have I been, you have every right to ask. Well, it’s like this….I decided to quite being a lump on the couch and try and reverse sixty two years of abuse and damage in just a few short months….hired a trainer, went on a diet and lost fifty pounds (oh, I know right where they are if I ever need to fit into that XL wardrobe I now have in the closet), and have started running again. I only hope my new lifestyle with all the exercise will offset the effects of my passion for food and good wine….but I digress.

My first effort in my comeback was quite interesting and pleasantly surprising. The mantra of the real estate business has always been “location, location, location,” and you have to feel for the three previous tenants of this rather plain from the outside building on 281 North which now houses restaurant number four in just the last three or so years. The first attempt was just a pizza joint, the second tried to combine pizzas with an arcade for the young set, while the third effort was intended to be a steak house….all three failed in just a matter of months. So here comes number four, this time concentrating on pasta and a whole lot more, but offering pizza for those apparently few who just have to have their pepperoni fix once in a while.


Enter Chef Ray Memedovski and his lovely companion Michelle. Ray is Albanian who grew up in Macedonia. This is not the first time I have run across that combination in the Italian restaurant field….seems the Albanians must have a bit of an edge when it comes to cooking Italian. There is a history behind Ray and Michelle….seems Ray is Gino’s cousin….that would be Gino, owner of the Italian Garden in Hancock….in fact Ray and Gino, along with the lovely Michelle, opened Tuscany a while back, just down the road at the bridge. As in so many business opportunities with relatives, there are many rough sailings and then a divorce. But this has turned out to be a good thing because it gave Ray the chance to open up Bella Napoli and we reap the benefits of that.

I recently asked my Italian friend from Boston if he wanted to join me for an evening there. His immediate response was, “I can already tell what it will be like, ordinary, at best.” I reminded him that if we failed to go check it out, Bella Napoli would turn out to be that hidden gem and we would have overlooked it. He still wasn’t convinced but accompanied me just the same. His first reaction upon entering was “WOW”….what great decorating of the interior (thank you Michelle)….bright contrasting colors and even two smaller, separate dining areas for group functions, plus a soon to be operational wine and beer bar. One of those benefits right now, since he still doesn’t have a liquor license, is you can bring your own alcohol at no charge….not even a corkage fee. Needles to say, we were prepared for that eventuality and had not one but two bottles of grape juice with us. The wait staff is cheery and pleasant to look at. (Can’t believe it has taken me four paragraphs to get to the food….must be my new lifestyle….yuck.)


Understand, I have been there three times by now, along with guests, and we have all had something different each time. Let me not forget, my Italian friend was very apologetic to me and most impressed with Chef Ray’s offerings our first time there. It did turn out to be a very nice little “hidden gem.” At the top of my list would be the Veal Marsala, while one of my companions had the Veal Picatta. The veal should be a dish unto itself for it is some of the best restaurant veal I have ever been served….thin and fork tender, just a hint of crispness from being pan sautéed....and the Marsala sauce is simply outstanding. Include the mound of mushrooms served over all and you have one of the best entrees in this area. Ditto on the Picatta with capers. I’m not a fan of angel hair pasta for it is usually overcooked, something easy to do since it is so thin, but the accompanying angel hair was perfectly al dente.

On my second visit I had the Linguini and clams in white sauce….now don’t expect some kind of Alfredo sauce. This is called white sauce to differentiate it from a traditional red sauce. The white sauce is more of a clear broth made from the clam juices and some garlic….delicious. Bella Napoli offers the ubiquitous spaghetti and meat concoctions, but if you do have to have “spaget,” be sure to have the meat balls….some of the most tender you will ever slide over your lips. In my first visit with Italian friend, we shared an appetizer of muscles in wine and garlic broth….made two mistakes here: one...shouldn’t have shared….wanted them all for myself; second was asking for the muscles -- while they were certainly good and fresh (not frozen as a lot of restaurants serve), I should have just ordered a bowl of the wine and garlic broth for dipping with the homemade bread served up when we first were seated, or perhaps a straw would have been even better.

On my most recent visit with the child bride of over 43 years (yes, she was finally in town long enough to go somewhere with me), Ray came by our table and asked what she was hungry for. Her response was for him to make her whatever he wanted. The end result was the biggest plate of shrimp and chicken Tetrazinni I have ever seen served in the free world. I almost had to carry her out. The desserts do not disappoint either, as the Tiramisu is exceedingly fresh and Michelle makes occasional cakes from scratch. You have to roll the dice on that as she doesn’t have any formal schedule yet, but I have had her Red Velvet and her Italian Cream efforts and am looking forward to the next. Even the cannolis are quite tasty….would love to try Ray’s homemade filling if I could just convince him to make me some….maybe if I bought the ingredients?

I have only one real negative and one perceived one, but we all know perception is reality, so….In my first visit with Italian friend we also ordered the calamari appetizer. Unfortunately, we both found it to be very tough and chewy, something that happens from overcooking, but a minor disappointment considering all of the “little gems” we did discover. The perceived negative I can blame on my new lifestyle….Ray just serves too much food….and we wonder why we are fast becoming a nation of obese slobs, like I was for so long (Ok, no more soap box). I drive by Bella Napoli several times a week and have never failed to see cars in the parking lot. Maybe he has beaten the location curse of the past poltergeists because once you have been, YOU’LL be baaaack.


Bella Napoli
13140 Highway 281 North
Spring Branch, TX
830-228-4333
Open 7 days a week
Beginning at 11:00 a.m.

“America's Number One Book when you are doing Number Two!”



What better way to start the day than with a chorizo and egg breakfast taco, a cup of steaming hot java and "THE BEST OF NeedToVent!" beside the old porcelain throne?

Over 300 pages of pithy, cutting-edge movie reviews, sports trivia and quirky observations concerning the human condition, "THE BEST OF NeedToVent!" is a must for anyone who needs a reason to smile before going to work -- or to bed. No chapter is longer than five pages -- most are only one or two -- making this a very easy book to pick up and put down for the person always on the go.

I know what you are thinking, "Should I purchase this book?"

As Kinky Friedman would say, "Why the Hell not?"

To see a Preview and to Order your copy, click on this link:

http:www.blurb.com/books/detail/2065314

THE BEST OF NeedToVent! by Robert A. Nowotny | Make Your Own Book

(Available in paperback and hardcover)

THE RADICALS Turns 20

THE RADICALS is an expansive, historically accurate, independently-financed feature film which presents the never-before-told true story of the first church formed during the Reformation. Shot entirely on location in France, Switzerland and Germany, THE RADICALS was honored as one of the three best American motion pictures produced in the 1990s by the International Festival for the Arts. (The other two were SCHINDLER'S LIST and GETTYSBURG). In addition, it was selected as the "Best Religious Film of the Year" by The Religious Public Relations Council of America. Other awards include top honors at film festivals ranging from Tokyo to Ghent to Houston.

Now, two decades later, the immensely talented Jane Bohon has published a 20th Anniversary Tribute commemorating the making of THE RADICALS. It is perhaps the most extensive publication of its kind for a relatively low budget, independent production.

To learn more about this remarkable book go to:

http://www.blurb.com/books/1152998


Within the 98 full-color pages you will find scores of photos, testimonials, cast and crew anecdotes and behind-the-scene insights for a film one reviewer has called, "A very special movie depicting an important moment in history that changed the direction of Western civilization." (Robbie de Vries)

On behalf of everyone associated with THE RADICALS allow me to convey to Ms. Bohon our sincere appreciation for all the hard work, the incredible commitment and the undying dedication in making this 20th Anniversary something truly special.

Thanks Jane -- you're the best!

TIGER WOODS PUTZ OUT -- Update #2

Let's start with the ridiculous --

Earl Woods, Tiger's dad, once said: "He's qualified through his ethnicity to accomplish miracles. He's the bridge between the East and the West. There is no limit because he has the guidance. I don't know yet exactly what form this will take -- but he is the Chosen One."

"The Chosen One?" -- How pretentious is that? You won't even find something this magniloquent or ostentatious in a Tim Tebow press release.


Anyway, here's some of the latest on Tiger (minus the Euphrates) in case you have been under sedation for the last week or so...

1. Nothing, it seems, can satisfy the insatiable appetite of the celebrity media to find out more about Tiger Woods, and their reports had no trouble finding an audience. Traffic to the biggest websites jumped 50 percent or more. In fact, Yahoo, Inc. CEO Carol Bartz told an investor conference that the Woods story was "better than Michael Jackson dying" for bringing people to her site and helping Yahoo sell enough extra advertising to boost profits. Jeez, we didn't know the King of Pop died in vain...

2. The Mayor of Las Vegas predicted a similar boost for the local economy. With many of Woods' alleged lovers having links to Sin City, and with Woods well known in Vegas casinos and nightclubs, Mayor Oscar Goodman said all this publicity, "would provide a boost to the local economy even if people no longer believed that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas." Who can argue with the Mayor? Clearly what happens in Vegas stays in Rachel, Jaimee and Kalika.

3. Even other sports were affected by the Tiger sweepstakes saga. For example, a horse at Hollywood Park named Driveliketiger finished third in a recent race. The horse apparently did not hit anything along the way -- maybe Tiger should get a Jockey as a stocking stuffer this year.


The ultimate irony, of course, is that Tiger Woods spent almost all of his entire life keeping score on the golf course. Now people everywhere are keeping score on him.

And the jokes continue...

What is Tiger's favorite Christmas Carol? "I'm dreaming of a White Mistress."

How does Tiger like his women? Just like his golf balls -- white, with dimples.

Tiger said the fault for his accident was his Escalade. That's oh-so typical of a golfer -- always blame the caddy!

Will there be more to come? As Sarah Palin would say, "You betcha!"

TIGER WOODS PUTZ OUT -- Update #1

(The small image size of the above photo is in direct correlation to the reduced image Tiger now possesses worldwide)

Just minutes after posting our TIGER WOODS -- Mulligan Stew article a Reuters carrier pigeon arrived at Needtovent's office complex delivering a published statement by the grating golfing great which read, in part, "I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all my heart...(but) personal sins should not require press releases and problems within a family shouldn't have to mean public confessions."

Transgressions?

Seems to us that Mr. Clean could at least man-up and call a spade a spade (for lack of a better adage).

Alas, Tiger does appear to be drinking his Kool-Aid. And to think, this statement was made mere minutes after our posting which is read worldwide. A coincidence? We think not.

As a Special Bonus to Needtovent readers, here's a picture of this year's Christmas Card photo of Elin and Tiger:


Additional developments include:

Tiger Woods' wife, Elin, is reportedly being paid a hefty seven-figure amount to stay with her husband, according the Chicago Sun-Times. The money is being transferred into an account she controls.

Additionally, Elin has demanded and will get a rewrite on the couple's prenuptial agreement. Originally, the agreement said the couple needed to remain married for 10 years in order for her to collect a divorce settlement of $20 million. Under the rewritten agreement, the time frame has been shortened and the dollar amount increased "substantially."

The couple has also begun marriage counseling at their Florida home.

Two final observations:

*** I guess the PGA really stands for the Pussy Galore Association -- now I know why men work so hard to get a Tour Card.

*** Kobe Bryant got off easy.

TIGER WOODS -- Mulligan Stew

There hasn't been too much to laugh about since Dick Cheney peppered the face of his hunting buddy with a Browning 12 Gauge -- until now.

From the very moment Tiger Woods' bumbling Triple-Bogeyman bumper car excursion was first reported, the Staff at Needtovent began to cachinnate and high-five with the fervor of Nurse Ratched's loonies off their meds. Apparently the same crack (pun intended) "damage control" public relations firm that handled the Exxon Valdez disaster is calling the shots in what The Sunday Times referred to as "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant." As a result, poor Tiger's Tale will have legs, as they, say, for months to come.

"What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a golf ball 400 yards."

Several specific observations:


Boy, are we glad we don't live in the Sunshine State. Is it just us, or does Florida Highway Patrol's Major Cindy Williams, shown here at the press conference declaring that Mr. Woods will only be charged with a simple traffic citation, lack even a modicum of constabulary professionalism? Tiger has said he is embarrassed by his actions. Shouldn't law enforcement officials and Smoky Bear be embarrassed also?

"What was Tiger and his wife doing out at 2:30 in the morning?
They were clubbing."

One fascinating facet of this whole affair is that Tiger's neighbors, whose tree he hit, is the Adams Family. Needtovent is presently pursuing an exclusive interview with Gomez and his wife Morticia who were the first on the scene of the accident not carrying a 9-iron. Yes, we know what people say about the Adams family: "They're creepy and they're kooky. Mysterious and spooky. They're all together ooky." We are not sure about the ooky part, but what the Hell...

"Tiger crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. Apparently he couldn't decide between a wood and an iron."


Finally, we couldn't help but end this posting with a photo of Rachel Uchitel, the first of what could be many prime-time concubines. We told you this story had legs, and this proves it...

MACY'S THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE -- 2009 Edition

Yesterday's 83rd Annual Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade was longer and more boring than a Southern Baptist Convention. Listed below are a half-dozen observations the Staff at Needtovent felt compelled to pass along...

1. Milton DeLugg was credited as the Musical Director for this event. Born in 1918, Mr. DeLugg is still going strong at the age of 91. We remember him best for his work on both Johnny Carson's TONIGHT SHOW and, later, Chuck Barris' THE GONG SHOW. Needtovent hereby salutes Mr. DeLugg whose musical interludes between singers and marching bands was a highlight of this year's parade.


2. The most insipid, pathetic and annoying singing performance out of literally dozens must go to Mitch Musso, the Hanna Montana co-star, whose rendition of "Shout It Out" was literally projectile-vomit inducing. We can only hope that his fate mirrors another Musso of sorts, that being Benito Mussolini, shown above with his mistress, Clara Petacci. We've already bought the rope...


3. Macy's distinctive Red Star logo was displayed on more banners and vehicles than you'll see at any May Day Parade at the Kremlin.

4. We did find one commercial to be especially enlightening. Without doubt, Needtovent is firmly convinced that any toy manufactured by Fisher-Price is beyond banal. If you want to provide your child with even a modicum of intellectual stimulation, we strongly suggest that you do not purchase anything from this company -- their entire toy line is hebetudiness-inducing for even prenatal children.


5. Among all of the big, inflatable balloons, only one got us thinking: If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? So much for intellectual stimulation...

6. And, finally, thank God for the Rockettes. Their gams were a Hell of a lot more fun to watch than any of the NFL's Thanksgiving Day games.

Until next year...

PONTIAC SILVERDOME -- The Deal Of The Century?

Yesterday the Pontiac Silverdome was sold at auction. When completed in 1975, at a cost of $55.7 million (the equivalent of around $70 million today), it was the largest stadium in the National Football League, with seating for 80,368 loyal Detroit Lions fans. And every seat was indoor thanks to the 10-acre Teflon coated fiberglass roof supported by no less that 1,700 tons of structural steel.

The selling price: $583,000.

That's not a typo. The selling price was a mere Five Hundred Eighty Three Thousand Dollars.

This amount is virtually the same as the asking price for the luxury high-rise condominium I was recently looking at in downtown San Antonio. I was told that this was a bargain the likes of which I would never, ever see again.

When I broached my semi-trusty Century 21 agent about the purchase price of the Silverdome he found the news so shocking it turned his sports coat a hideous yellow vomit color. Oh wait, it was already that way. But, now his face was just a half-shade off to match his jacket.

Just for fun, let's make some simple comparisons -----

Square Footage:
Silverdome -- 430,000/sf
Luxury Condo -- 2,150/sf

Price Per Square Foot:
Silverdome -- $1.36/sf
Luxury Condo -- $271.00/sf

Bedrooms:
Silverdome -- 1,240 Luxury Suites
Luxury Condo -- 1 Master/1 minuscule Guest Bedroom

Kitchens:

Silverdome -- 1 Full Service Epicurean Restaurant supplemented by 42 Concession Stands
Luxury Condo -- 1 average-sized kitchen -- with built-in disposal, trash compacter and granite counter tops. Yipeee...

Parking Places:

Silverdome -- 12,464 on-site, with another 8,700 off-site
Luxury Condo -- 2

Oh yes, the purchase of the Silverdome includes 132 acres of land. The Luxury Condo does not include any land whatsoever.

To be totally fair, my refrigerator now sports a Century 21 Refrigerator Magnet -- a gift given to me even though I have not made a purchase. I also have a Century 21 Key Chain. How can they afford such largesse?

All kidding aside, there obviously is no comparison. But is bigger really better?

Just ask any woman...

PALINTOLOGY 101

Who says academia is boring?

Needtovent is excited about a whole new branch of science which has recently captured the spotlight of America's foremost network and cable channels. Usually such scientific endeavors are relegated to smaller media outlets such as the Discovery Channel or My Weekly Reader, but Palintology is making headlines everywhere. In fact, one can now take a course in this new field thanks to it's matriarch -- one Sara Palin, who, like Darwin, lends her name to this fascinating discipline.

As defined by the editors of the Science Christian Merrimack, Palintology is the vivisection of old fossils, especially those pertaining to the brief McCain Era.

Being such a new field of study, there is currently only one practitioner, Ms. Palin herself, seen above just prior to holding class at Wasilla High.

In closing, we cannot help but wonder what the yardstick is all about. Even our most dreaded nun, Mother Superior Vader, confined herself to a 12" ruler...

THE IRONDALE CAFE -- The Worst Meal Ever???

Over the past sixty-plus years I have visited every state in the union and thirty-seven foreign countries. As a result, I have eaten at literally thousands of eateries -- ranging from among the fanciest and most expensive to some of the smallest dives well off the beaten track. Most of the time the food is pretty good, but there have been a number of regrettable meals which remain seared in my memory.

For example, there's the Peking Duck I was served at a restaurant in Beijing that was so fatty I named the poor bird "Arbuckle." If nothing else, this culinary experience made me realize that if reincarnation is true, I absolutely, positively do not want to come back as a liposuction machine.

I also remember a pu pu platter served in Austin that was so shockingly awful, it almost killed a Needtovent staffer. It was worse than poo-poo, that's for sure.

The same holds true for any number of "mixed grill" offerings served while attending the Varna International Film Festival in Bulgaria. Even Alfred Packer wouldn't have been able to digest the various meats which comprised this ubiquitous entree during Todor Zhivkov's reign as President of that impoverished country.

And, of course, there is the Olive Garden -- but I'll discuss that topic at another time.

Which brings me to the Irondale Cafe located just outside the city limits of Birmingham, Alabama. Originally a hot dog stand, which later added hamburgers, barbecue and a variety of sandwiches to the menu, the business was purchased by Miss Bess Fotenberry in 1932, and shortly thereafter the Irondale Cafe (aka the original Whistle Stop) became well-known for its signature dish -- fried green tomatoes.


As it turns out, Bess Fotenberry's niece is Fannie Flagg and her book featuring the restaurant became a best seller. And in January, 1992, the movie version of FRIED GREEN TOMATOES premiered at the Cobb Galleria Theatre in Birmingham. The place became an over-night sensation and tourists from around the world flocked to this small eatery, with most ordering fried green tomatoes. After all, why not? Even the local newspaper ran an article with the headline: "Seen the movie? Now taste the title."

So far, so good.


Which brings me to the evening of November 7, 2010, when yours truly, accompanied by the same Needtovent staffer who barely survived the dreaded pu pu platter, decided to eat at what some consider to be an American icon. Icon my ass, what "icon" tell you is that this was among the worst meals either of us have ever experienced.

I'll be brief -- the breading on my catfish was muculent -- there's simply no other way to describe what was on the plate. As for the celebrated fried green tomatoes -- they were soggy and the only taste associated with them came from the oil used. Even the dinner rolls were terrible -- being greasier than a Puerto Rican's pillow.

To be totally fair, the service, such as it existed, was adequate.

Maybe this wasn't the single worst meal I have ever experienced. Then again, maybe it was. But what I can say for certain is that you must not be mislead by the dozens of testimonials appearing on the Irondale Cafe's website -- they constitute the largest collection of fiction this side of Oxford University.

PHILLIE PHENOM

Last night Philly Phenom Chase Utley hit two home runs to help propel the underdogs from the City of Brotherly Love to a surprising 6-1 victory over the overpaid Bronx Bombers. In doing so, Utley became the first left-handed hitter to hit two 'taters off of a left-handed pitcher in a World Series game since the mighty Bambino did so over eighty years ago.

I repeat -- this was the first time a lefty batter homered twice against left-handed pitching in the Fall Classic since October 9, 1928, when Babe Ruth accomplished the same feat off of Cardinals' pitcher Bill Sherdel.

Talk about an obscure statistic. Who keeps track of such things?

The fact remains that this is an extremely rare accomplishment which led the Staff at Needtovent to research Mr. Utley a little more, given his current celebrity status.

We like what we found...

For example, his minor league career included playing for such storied organizations as the Cotuit Kettleers and the Batavia Muckdogs. Seems like this fella thrives on obscurity. And prior to each of his plate appearances at Citizens Bank Park the public address systems plays "Kashmir" by Led Zepplin. A nice choice.


Another nice choice is his very attractive wife, Jennifer. Lookin' good...

A first game victory over the Damn Yankees is lookin' good, also, which makes me really, really crave a Philly Cheesesteak and an ice-cold Rolling Rock...

Go Phillies!

VANCOUVER OLYMPICS

As a follow-up to our previous posting regarding Picabo Street, Needtovent is pleased to reveal the unique design for the 2010 Vancouver Winter Olympics Gold, Silver and Bronze Medals. Organizers proudly declare that these medals "each feature a different crop of larger contemporary Aboriginal artworks and are undulating rather than flat -- both firsts in Games history. The dramatic form of the Vancouver 2010 medals is inspired by the ocean waves, drifting snow and mountainous landscape found in the Games region and throughout Canada."

Has the word "undulating" ever been used in a sports-related press release before? We think not.

Topography aside, we can not help but agree with Ron Judd, columnist at the Seattle Times, who described the medals as "displaying the traditional native 45RPM-record-left-on-dashboard-in-sun design."

Well, they are shiny.

Let the games begin...

PICABO STREET

Olympic medalist Picabo Street -- whose unusual first name comes from the Native American word that means "shining waters" and is pronounced "peek-a-boo" -- recently earned the respect and admiration of her local community when she headed the fund raising efforts for a much-needed addition to the Sun Valley Hospital. You see, the nearest hospital with an Intensive Care Unit was located over 150 miles away in Boise. Leading the way, Ms. Street was instrumental in securing the necessary financing for a brand new state-of-the-art intensive care wing which is now fully operational.

Yes, you guessed it, the facility is named the Picabo ICU.

OBAMA'S WON THE NOBEL PEACE PRIZE -- WTF?!

The above headline from Britain's TELEGRAPH is the most recent in the storied history of wonderful newspaper headlines from around the world. Needtovent's research staff wondered what our Top Three of all-time would be. Here, in no particular order, are the ones we selected.


HEADLESS BODY IN TOPLESS BAR (New York Post, 1983 -- a story covering a rather gruesome local murder)

STICKS NIX HICK PIX (Variety, 1935 -- regarding rural moviegoers preferring urban films)

IKE 'BEATS' TINA TO DEATH (New York Post, 2007 -- article covers Ike Turner's death on December 12)

Bonus: SUPER CALEY GO BALLISTIC CELTIC ARE ATROCIOUS (The Times, UK -- covering Inverness Caledonian Thistle's huge victory over Celtic in the Scottish Cup)