RUSH LIMPBAUGH

Rush Hudson Limbaugh III (aka "Limpbaugh") attended Southeast Missouri State University for one year, flunking not one but two Speech courses at this bastion of higher edjumacation. That's the extent of Rush-a-roo's college career. He then proceeded to marry three women -- Roxy, Sixta and Marta. All three marriages ended in divorce; there are no children. While the specific reasons for this may be in question, one can speculate that this impotent potentate who prides himself on "family values" is even worse in bed than he is on the air.

Of course the latest gaffe involves twenty-nine little blue pills found in his luggage at the Palm Beach Airport after his private plane landed from a soiree in the Dominican Republic. Unfortunately, the bottle containing this Viagra prescription was not in his name, but that of two of his doctors. The reason? This learned scholar from the "Show Me State" didn't want the world to know that his itty-bitty penis is as dysfunctional as his pea-sized brain. Citing a desire "to protect his privacy," the attempted deception simply made us all privy to his privates.

This is almost as funny as "Dick" Cheney trying to shoot something else...