Sitting Bullshit

The NCAA has taken political correctness way too damn far with their announcement that beginning February 1, 2006, no college team with an Indian mascot name that could be construed as being "hostile or abusive" will be allowed to participate in a post season tournament unless all such references first be removed by the teams from their uniforms and from other clothing that may be worn by the team. Presumably this refers to warm-up jackets, etc. Additionally, the NCAA plans to ban colleges using Indian nicknames from hosting any type of future preseason event. As for those already selected to host a tournament site, the universities would be required to cover any "offensive logos" that might exist anywhere at the sports facility to the satisfaction of the NCAA gestapo.

What a crock... Looks like my high school was way ahead of the times when it comes to picking something other than a "hostile or abusive" nickname -- the result, of course, was that the New Braunfels Unicorns failed to strike terror into the hearts of any of their opponents, at least not while I was roaming the hallowed halls back in the mid 1960's.

I fear this decree may only be the first of many to come down in the name of political correctness. My guess is that any college team with a "sexual reference" of any kind will soon suffer a similar fate. Yep, anything that might smack of a wee bit of nooky will surely need to be exorcised from the face of collegiate athletics, and trust me when I say the list of schools that will be affected is larger than you might initially imagine. We can start with the University of Southern California Trojans for obvious reasons. Same for the Oregon State Beavers and the South Carolina Gamecocks. Lets not forget the Alabama Crimson Tide (that time of the month) or the Oklahoma Sooners (premature ejaculation) or even the Akron Zips (which opens the door to a guy's manhood). Other schools in jeopardy are the Purdue Boilermakers (once the preferred drink of choice to get that Tri-Delt drunk and in the sack) and the Florida Gators (named after the 1960's dirty dance craze). Of course the Oklahoma State Cowboys suffer double jeopardy with "Cowboys" being the ying to the "Indians" yang, plus the possible allusion to bestiality down on the ranch. Even my Texas Longhorns might be in danger of sanctions should the NCAA get a hard-on, Bevo notwithstanding.

Let's take to the field and replay the Battle of the Little Bighorn -- the NCAA deserves to be scalped.