Invasion Of The Mexican Leaf Blower

God help me -- God help us all!

Not too long ago we were told that KILLER BEES were making their way northward, from Mexico and beyond, and life as we knew it would never be the same. Well, I don't know about you, but I sure as Hell haven't been bothered by a swarm of these winged, hairy-bodied insects of the order Hymenoptera. Have you?

However, I recently spent what seemed to be an interminably long period of time in a typical white, upper class, mostly Republican suburb where I encountered something more vexing and more horrific than any damn Killer Bee, much less an entire swarm of them. I'm referring, of course, to a horde of Mexican Leaf Blowers, each splaying at supersonic speed grass clippings and other refuse back and forth from one household to another in an orchestrated cacophony of futility. The decible level clearly exceeded that of yesterday's shuttle launch, and what is just as annoying is that the same lawn cuttings, dust and assorted debris will simply travel from one household to another until, eventually, it is jetted back to where it came from originally. Other than watching the Rice University football team, I do not believe I have ever witnessed a group of guys who are more ineffective or more inept.

In all fairness, the Mexican Leaf Blower is simply following orders. "Gonna blow your crap over onto my sidewalk, huh? Well just you wait until my Julio arrives and you'll think you were imbeded in Operation Desert Storm old buddy." And so the cyclical cyclone continues...there will be no peace (or quiet) in our time.