SPANKY McCAIN

Every newspaper, magazine, television station, website and blog has already covered virtually every angle imaginable surrounding Ms. Sarah Louise Heath Palin. With that in mind, we at Needtovent pledged to refrain from posting anything regarding this surprising Republican Vice Presidential Candidate.

Scout's honor...

Alas, vivid, highly pleasant and recurring dreams of being draped over Ms. Palin's knee and receiving a good old-fashioned spanking persist. Think of it as a "Thrilla from Wasilla" -- and don't you dare dismiss this feel-good fantasy as something isolated and confined to those living under the ultra-conservative administration of the Bulverde Gulag. Certainly Max Mosley shares similar longings and aspirations. And, negative rhetoric notwithstanding, I'll bet William Jefferson Clinton does as well.