Friday, July 18, 2008


"From Hollywood, almost live, it's THE GONG SHOW!"

And what a show it was.

Where to begin? The catchy theme song played by the brassy Milton Delugg Orchestra? The scandalous, shocking comments from the sexy, sultry (or should I say slutty?) Jaye P. Morgan? The incessant incendiary insults from The Unknown Comic? The sweet soulful shuffle by the show's original janitor, Gene Gene, the Dancing Machine? The perky Popsicle Licking Twins (whose act got the show pulled from the air lickity split)? Or do we need to start with the impish impresario, the producer provocateur par excellence -- Chuck Barris?

Clearly it is Mr. Barris who deserves the majority of the credit. Many subsequent shows have tried to capture the lighthearted insanity of the original (Barris' own THE $1.98 BEAUTY CONTEST and the current AMERICA HAS TALENT being the two most successful), but the vast majority have fallen flat -- flatter than a Sarah Lawrence coed.

Now let's do keep in mind that there is a difference between flat and flatulance. Enter THE GONG SHOW WITH DAVE ATTELL -- a program so foul in concept and execution that it stinks, literally and figuratively.

Remember the famous comment made by Senator Lloyd Bentson to Dan Quale during the 1988 vice-presidental debate: "Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy."

Well -- "Mr. Attell, you're no Chuck Barris."

Given the fact that THE GONG SHOW WITH DAVE ATTELL is undeniably the worst program in Comedy Central history, the less said about it the better. Accordingly, we at the Needtovent Intergalactic World Headquarters have decided that a simple Haiku Review is all that needs to be written:

by Robert A. Nowotny

Repugnant rip-off
Bigger flop than Fosbury
Gonged and forgotten


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