BLASPHEMY! An Urban Legend Rebuked...

There is a vicious e-mail making the rounds which claims Betty Rubble is not to be found in any Flintstones Vitamins package.

If true, this would be an untenable situation requiring the immediate deployment of 5,000-plus National Guard Troops to the corporate headquarters of Bayer HealthCare with orders to secure its border and deport all executives (documented or not) responsible for such a travesty.

Alas, the e-mail's assertion is unfounded. All is well El Presidente.

I suspect several readers may be bewildered regarding my deep devotion to Betty. The answer is simple: Betty is a hot babe, far more fetching than Wilma, and clearly the female Flintstones character preferred by young boys nationwide. I'm sure there is more than one Duke Lacrosse geezer who wanked off watching Betty on the family Philco as a youngster. It's understandable. Remember, this was the first television program in American broadcast history to actually show a married couple sleeping in the same bed.

Yabba Dabba Do!