PINHEADED PETAPHILES

(Ashley Byrne, PETA Campaign Coordinator, Takes The Stage To Announce A Major New Public Relations Endeavor)

Yes, there are many among us who belive that the organization known as People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (aka PETA) is a bit wacky, but the latest announcement of a campaign to have us refer to fish as sea kittens is nothing short of being absurd.

Yes, "Sea Kittens" is the new term now being used by PETA for the creatures they assume are in dire need of an image makeover.

According to Ms. Byrne, PETA believes that by renaming "fish" compassionate people who would never dream of hurting a dog or a cat might extend that sympathy to a dapper young snapper, or should I say sea kitten?

Byrne went on to say that rebranding fish as sea kittens was obvious.

"Fish not only have the same ability to feel pain as a dog or a cat, but they also communicate with one another. They have complex social interactions; they form bonds; they express affection by gently rubbing against one another."


The PETA campaign boasts a colorful, interactive Web site aimed at children and their parents. It offers sea kitten bedtime stories and a design-your-own sea kitten in hopes it will build compassion in families.

As a final argument for this new campaign, Ms. Byrne stated, "Most parents would never dream of spending a weekend torturing kittens for fun with their families, but hooking a sea kitten through the mouth and dragging her through the water is the same as hooking a kitten through the mouth and dragging her behind your car."

So far PETA has only promoted the campaign in North Carolina, but plans to take it nationwide soon.


You know, I don't think that we at Needtovent.com are the only ones who think PETA is stupid.